
My Childhood: Lost & Found
By Nandan Kumar, Vth Standard, Shoshit Samadhan Kendra
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“Acknowledgement”
Dear Reader,
I would like to thank you for reading this book and wanting to know about me and my past through this book. I would also like to thank those people who helped and supported me in writing this book. I would specially like to thank our Chief Project Officer (Simranpreet Singh Oberoi) who allowed me to write this book and Shambhavi Ma’am who really helped me in this work. I am fortunate to have a ma’am like her. I am also thankful to Mr. Viraj Soni who edited my book. I am really grateful to Bittu, Anoj, Deepak and Chandu who checked my writing and gave feedback of my writing. I would also like to thank my maternal uncle and aunt for giving me such love and care as his/her own son. I would like to thank my villagers who really helped me too.
I always wanted to write something, then one day I decided to write about my past. I had cried while writing and felt alone. Now you are reading my book and knowing about me so from now you are my friend. Will you be my friend?
– Nandan
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“My Painful Childhood”
I am Nandan Kumar. I was born on September 7th, 2000, in the small village of Neurain Patna. I used to live in that village with my parents along with three sisters and three brothers. My mother was a teacher in Angan Wadi (Government School). Therefore, I and my siblings were homeschooled.
My father was also a teacher in Manthan School but he lacked humanity. He was not a good human being. Intoxicated, he beat my mother after heavy drinking. We could not do anything because we were very young. When my elder brother tried to convince him, my father beat him too. I used to go to a government school. But I wasn’t able to attend the school properly because my father’s friend used to call me to their school and always asked me to recite a poem.
One day when I was at home alone. My father came in angry mood and he threw me in a nearby pond. As I didn’t know swimming then, I started to drown. A kind man of the village came, dived into the water and saved my life. Due to this I decided to run away from my home to my maternal aunt’s place. My maternal aunt’s home was in Bata and I knew the route but, I was very young. Even so, I ran away. When I reached Dhanapur, I lost the way. I didn’t know where to go from there. Then I decided to ask a man for help. He was standing in front of Dayna cinema hall. I told him “Uncle, can you suggest me the way to Bata from here because, I was lost. At first he told me not to panic. Then he asked some questions and I answered all his questions properly. He stopped a bus for me and asked the conductor to take me to Bata. Finally I reached to my maternal aunt’s home.
When she saw me, she was happy and also surprised. She asked me that why I came alone? Then I explained that had happened with me, after hearing it my aunt and uncle were furious on my father. My maternal aunty provided me with lot of love, like she would to her own son.
Next day they asked me to return. They said that they will come to see me after a few days. My maternal aunt left me half way to my home in the bus and told me not to say anything after reaching home. When I reached home my mother got emotional. I saw my mother’s eyes, they were full of tears. She told me to not go alone anywhere ever again. My mother told me that you must meet your father. I was scared to meet him. When I saw my father, I again ran away to my maternal aunt’s house. This time I came home with my maternal aunt and uncle. That day my maternal uncle fought with my father. After the fight they sat on the bed and started talking to each other. I didn’t know what they were talking about.
After few days my younger sister fell ill. She was very serious but I didn’t know what kind of disease she was suffering from. At last she died in young age. My father was responsible for her death because he didn’t allow my sister to get treated. On the day of her death, I was very angry on my father. My maternal aunt and uncle came again. My neighborhoods and my family members came to bury my dead sister in the burial ground.
Even after a month of her death, there was little change in his behavior, in fact he stopped teaching and drank the whole day.
After few months my parents were going to attend the wedding but I was not allowed. My mother told me to be at home and to look after it. When my parents were going, I started crying. My father tried to stop me but I didn’t. When they sat in the Tonga, I was still crying on the ground. They gave me some money to stop crying, but I didn’t stop. At last they told me to sit in the Tonga only then, I stopped crying. Then we went to attend the wedding. The name of the place was Nach Bagicha. It was close to Bata. We also meet to my maternal aunt and uncle and their children. We lived happily there for a week. Then we returned back to our home.
My mother used to get monthly salary. She always deposited half her salary in the bank and the other half she brought home to use for house hold work. She used to do this every month. One day my father beat my mother so much, she decided to suicide. She went on railway track to die. Then one of my friend said that “Your mother is going to suicide on railway track.”
I ran to stop her. When I reached the railway track, I saw her, she was coming towards me. My youngest sister was with her. I went to her and told her “If you will die then who will look after us & care for us?” Then she realized her mistake and asked me to return home but I refused and said “If you would come with me then only, I will go home.” She agreed and came with me.
After few days I participated in race competition. That day my mother told me that if, I don’t study then, no one will take care of me.
Next day I was helping people, by serving food. I had also peeled potatoes. When I was doing so, my sister came to me and told me that “Father is beating our Mother”. But I didn’t listen to her. Later my brother also came and told me same thing. One of the villagers told me that my brother was telling lie. Few minutes later, one of my friends told me that my mother had ran away. Then I thought she might have gone to railway tracks again for same thing she had done earlier later. But I was wrong. When I went there, I didn’t find her and, I returned back. All the way, thinking about her. Then I heard that my mother is in hospital. I quickly ran to the hospital to see her. As I was going to see her, the people of my village were carrying a body on khatiya. I became nervous and I asked one of them that who was she? Is that my mother? Then one of them replied “yes”. Then I willingly asked them “What had happened to her.” Then one the person told me that “She is no more.” I was shocked & my legs were paralyzed. Then I started crying loudly. Then I started looking for my elder brother. He told me the whole story that when he went into the house it was quite & nobody was there. When he entered the room he saw mom hanging by the rope. My father ran away from the house after this incident. Then my elder brother called our maternal aunt uncle. He told the whole story to them on the phone. After few hours my maternal aunt and uncle came with the police. But the police didn’t do anything. They took the dead body for post-mortem. The doctor told my maternal uncle that the chest’s bones were broken. The blood had clotted there. After hearing it, my maternal uncle’s son (eldest brother) started crying. Then he decided to kill my father and I was also ready for that. But we could not do anything. My maternal uncle took the dead body to Bans Ghat on tractor.
When a man was putting my mom’s dead body on fire, I started crying. Few seconds later, I fainted. I got up after a few minutes. When I returned home I did not eat anything the whole day. My neighbors started to think that “My maternal aunt might leave me somewhere or and kill me for the property. She may behave as a step mother does in a film.” But I didn’t listen to them I believed in my maternal aunt that she would never do such thing and I was right.
My race competition was held after two days. I vowed and decided to win the race and I won it. My bhaiya was happy with it, and he told me to be brave. Then I went to Bata where my maternal aunt and maternal uncle used to live.
I started living there. Once I told my maternal aunt that “I want to study.” She replied “Ok.” Then I started going to school. I studied in a private school. The principal of that school was a kind hearted man. He taught me very well and he always asked me about events that occurred in my life in the past. One day he told me about S.S.k (where I live today) he took us to this school for taking a test in 2008. I and my brother took test for the admission. We were waiting for our results but we could not get any. We thought that we have failed or result has not been announced. One hot summer day when, I was having my meal; my cousin brother was looking for my elder brother. He could not find him. My younger brother (Anand Mohan) saw someone had died in a small field where some amount of water had collected. He came to me and told me that had seen someone had died. I decided to go there but he told me not to. When I was having my meal, someone was shouting loudly that a person had died. I quickly ran to see what had happened. As I ran, I heard a lady shouting that Kishku had died. When I heard the word, I was stunned. I could not believe my ears. It was my brother’s name. I ran as fast I could. When I reached, I saw my brother lying on the ground. A wire was wound around his hand. He died by an electric shock. My maternal aunt was not in Bata. On that day she was in Neura to attend my grandmother death anniversary. One year ago, my grandmother had come to look after the house. When my maternal aunt heard, she came crying. When she saw the dead body of bhaiya, she fainted. As she became conscious, she started throwing the pictures of God that were pasted on our wall, out of the house. After that she fell ill for a week. We knew that the villagers believed in ghost and in spirit. That time I too, used to believe. So, one night I was waiting for my brother’s spirit. I thought if he will come and I will ask him that why this had happened to him. Why did he leave us? Night changed into day but he did not come.
I didn’t attend the school for a week. When I went to the school, my professor asked the reason for being absent. I told him about my brother, then I saw his eyes and they were full of tears. My professor told me that he will make me and my younger brother the best of students. At the end of the year, we again would appear for test in the hostel for admission. My brother worked hard for it but I could not concentrate on studies. That is why I failed and he passed and got admission in the hostel. My maternal aunt tried to cheer me up by saying there will be a next time. My brother got admission in the hostel (Shoshit Samadhan Kendra) in 2009. I was then determined to make it the next time so, I began to work hard. I started going coaching class. Few months later I got admission in a government school. I studied in that school for a month, and was nominated for the monitor of the class. When my brother got vacations for Dussehra, I was anxiously to waiting for him. When I saw him I was shocked. He was neat and clean. I looked at myself. There were a lot of differences between me and my brother. His body language, clothing, talking and behavior everything had changed. Seeing him, I felt a new excitement to get in the hostel. I prayed to God, and appeared for the test for admission the third time. I came in the hostel in 17th of January 2010. In 2010 I passed and got admission in U.K.G., but my younger was in standard one. At first I was unhappy and uncomfortable for this reason but now, I am happy and comfortable. Now he is in standard IV and I am in standard III. He helps me understand subjects if I go wrong. Now when ever we go home in vacation, the people of my society respect us.
My maternal aunt and uncle are closest to my heart. I love them very much. When my mother died; they brought me, my brother and sisters up. She did everything for us. She considered me and my siblings her own children. So I will fulfill her all wishes when I will become a successful man. I used to call her frequently whenever I had any problem and she always helped me solve them. She thought I was careless and had no belief in me, she thought that I could not do anything in my life. But she was wrong. I studied hard and became a good boy. I started going coaching classes myself. And I came home proud. My maternal aunt kept track of my health and studies; she always offered help. I shared all my experiences and opinions with her; she was my biggest source of encouragement.
The second person who loves me the most is my maternal uncle. He fulfills my needs. He works in Bata Company. He comes to meet me. Sometimes if I did anything wrong, he would scold me, when my aunt saw him scold me she would ask him angrily to stop and tell me to behave properly. One day my maternal aunt was not at home. She had gone to market to buy clothes. So, when she was going, she gave me ten rupees. I ate madhu which was just like tobacco but not as harmful. As she came back from the market, she saw me chewing on it. I tried to explain her but she slapped me. That day she slapped me for the first time. I felt ashamed and decided not to touch this stuff again. When my sister was very young, I used to help my maternal aunt. I lapped my sister and used to take care of her. I have two sisters. Elder one is studying in a hostel. She takes care of herself. When she was at home and whenever she did any mistake I used to beat her. Now whenever I think of that moment I feel ashamed. My elder brother Chandan bhaiya is very kind and loving. The eldest brother in my family is Baiju bhaiya. Now he has got married. He also loves me. His wife also is a kind hearted person and she too loves us.
One day when I went school I got seven hundred rupees. It is a government rule that provide us with money every year from the school. I gave that money to my maternal aunt. In the evening when I was playing Baiju bhaiya came and slapped me. I started crying and asked him that why he slapped me. Then he replied that I was wasting my time in playing. I should study and do my homework. But I didn’t understand and I told him that I will not stay here and I started towards Neura. He also came running behind and took me home and closed the door. Whenever he saw me roaming with or the people who gambled or chewed tobacco, he used to beat me. Then I started being afraid of him. Now whenever I go to Bata he feels glad to see me. He also told me that if I have any problems I can share with Chandan bhaiya. He is a smart guy. He is always worried about the family.
Mostly I lived Polly with my brother and also with my Chandan bhaiya. He took me for a Movie at the cinema hall for the first time in my life. Whenever I go home he used to give me his mobile to use it. Mostly I used it for listening songs and to talk my friends. I always go in fair of Dussehra with him. I don’t like to go with anyone else. One night when I was sleeping and the mobile was beside my ear. Suddenly the phone rang and I woke up. I looked at the watch, it was 2 o’ clock. I thought who can call at this time now. Then I picked up the phone. It was a girl’s voice on the phone. I asked her that to whom she wants to talk. She considered me as I was Chandan and started talking. She was saying nonsense things. Then I interrupted in between again “To whom you want to talk.” Then she asked “Who are you?” then I replied that I am Chandan‘s younger brother Nandan. As she heard she put down the phone. I was shocked. In the morning I told to bhaiya that at night I received a call from a girl. She was asking for Chandan bhaiya. Then bhaiya said this kind of an incident happened with him too. My brother also didn’t know. Then I asked to Chandan bhaiya then he replied with a smile that she is his friend.
Once it was night, after eating a feast we were returning to our home. As we were crossing a temple we saw a big eagle sitting on the top of temple. We were got very afraid and we began to run. As we were running, we saw two children playing on the road. My brother told me that they are not children. They are ghost. Then we began to run away to our home. As we went home the courtyard gate was shut. Everyone was sleeping. Then my elder brother climbed over the wall and entered in the courtyard. There was gap between the gates. Being very young I entered into the courtyard by that gap. Then we breathed a sigh of relief.
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“My Village Education”
When I was young, I was homeschooled by my mother for few months. Then I began to go school. That time I was in first standard. In the village, the teachers taught Mathematics and Hindi. They didn’t teach much of English. The villager students are brilliant in mathematics. But my mind was not like them. I was very weak in mathematics. Sometimes I did not attend the school for the same. I used to run away to orchard or some other place. Mostly I ran to the railway station. I used to sit on the bench at the station and keep watching the trains arrive and depart. In the government school I didn’t learn anything.
Then my mother decided to get me admission in an N G O School, for which I agreed. When I went to this school the students laughed at me, so I decided to never go there again; I rejoined the government school where I made new friends.
One day at my school we were celebrating of Gandhi Jayanti. My school had small cultural program. When the cultural program got over my professor asked one of us to bring his bag. Unfortunately I went to the ladies dressing room. The girls those were in the dressing room complained to the principal. The principal drove me out of the school. Then I told my mother that I will study in Manthan School near father and I started studying where my father taught. I took part in many competitions. My first competition was at Khagaul in Manthan School. I sang a song called “Hum Honge Kanbyab” along with three other boys; me, my elder brother and his friend. We sang well but could not win. My second competition was a quiz at Khajuri. In that competition I won and I got a box full of chocolates. I used to help to mother in teaching children. I can still remember teaching alphabets, tables, reciting poems and rhymes at the government school.
On the Independence Day I wasn’t able to go to the school on the account of heavy rains. When I was getting ready to go the school it started raining heavily, when I started running towards the school large ditches had been formed along the roads, which were full of muddy water. Since I didn’t want to soil my clothes, I returned home. It was the first independence-day I was going to celebrate at this school.
When I was in my native village I didn’t study above class 2. I changed many schools but I got admission only in class 1 or 2, even in those classes I was not able to clear the exams.
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“I Began Working”
After some months I left my school. I began working at a market shop. In the morning, I took my bag and pretended to go to school but I didn’t. Instead I went to the shop where I used to work. I returned home in the noon. My parents thought I went to school but they were mistaken. The owner of the shop gave me a hundred rupees per month as salary. I brought clothes from my regular shop. My father saw me, and he asked me, where did, I get the money from. That time I could not utter a single word. He beat me a lot. Then I ran away from the house. I didn’t come back the whole day. At night I entered into the house from the window. I was very hungry so I walked slowly – slowly, sat down on the floor and started eating. The house was so quite that, as I was eating my mother woke up by the sound. She thought that it was a cat that was is eating. She threw her slipper to hit me. I started crying. Everyone woke up except my father. He didn’t wake up because he was sleeping on the roof. Relieved, I slept with my mother.
I helped people in their daily chores, like by carrying wood to their house.
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“My Friends”
I had many friends in the village. I learnt many things from them. We went to swim together, in the river. Mostly we used to go in the afternoon. We jumped into the river from the top of a tree. We caught fish. Sometimes we held parties. I used to steal fruits with my friend’s from the orchard. Sometimes we partied when we won a game of cricket. Now, whenever I go to my village I meet them and we race in the river. They are serious in doing only three things, playing cricket, dancing and studying. These are the activities they love the most. Whenever I meet them, they ask me to dance for them; they don’t believe me, when I say I don’t know how to. They argue that students in hostel are taught how to dance. Then I have nothing else to do but to show them one or two dance steps. One day we were returning to our homes. As we were coming we saw a girl drowning. We dived into the water and saved her life. The girl went her home and nervously she told her father that we had pushed her into the water. We decided to give her a beating but didn’t.
Once while swimming in the river, we heard a loud splash; we thought some animal would have jumped in the river, but when we heard it again, one of my friend’s said it must be a ghost who dived into the river. Listening to my friend all of us started running towards our homes. People of my village believe in ghosts. They don’t come out of their house because of this fear of ghosts. On several occasions I’ve tried to see the ghosts, but I’ve failed because there are no ghosts.
During one night, while returning from my cousin’s house, I saw a man standing below a tree. When I was passing by a branch of the tree fell down. I thought there might be ghost in the tree. I ran very fast and hid myself. I peeped at the tree to find the ghost but I didn’t find any.
One day I and my friends went to steal guava and black berries from a small orchard. The orchard was adjacent to a house. The owner of the house was the pradhan, he had a dog. As soon as we went near the house, the dog started barking at us. We decided to kill the dog. One afternoon, we went to the house and started throwing stones at the dog. The dog was leased but still bit my friend in the leg. Then we took a long stick and attacked him with that. The dog was young, therefore he didn’t last long. We ran away as soon as the dog died. One person saw us. He told the pradhanand we were caught and were given a hard punishment. He punished us to plough his field using a pick-axe. We completed ploughing in about 5 or 6 hours. The field was not so big. Next day we thought of making a cricket pitch in the field. We made the cricket pitch in about two days. We started playing on that pitch. We used to practice there. We won many matches on that pitch. After winning one, we had a huge party. We cooked chicken and chapatti by ourselves. Then we ate together. We also drank cold drinks. We distributed leftover chicken among the children. On that day we had a lot of fun and we watched movies the whole night and slept in the day. Sometimes we wandered in the fields and in orchard to kill birds. We kept catapults with us to hit the bird. Whenever we wandered to kill the birds we kept three things with us. They were match box, salt and chilies. Whenever we killed a bird, we used to bake it on the fire and eat it with salt and chilies. We also threw eggs of birds away from their nests. We also climbed up trees to pluck plum and tamarind. We used to sit on the branches of trees and eat till evening.
Sometimes we caught fish by the river using a fishing hook. Sometimes we went to harvest a field. Initially I didn’t know how to but my friends taught me to harvest. I had a lot of fun working with my friends and learnt many things along the way.
In my village there was a man who used to tell us stories. Mostly he told us ghost stories. One day a snake charmer came in my village. He was very thirsty so, he went to the hand pump to quench his thirst. As he walked towards the pump, we stole his snake box and ran away to the field. We freed the snake, threw the box and ran away. Whenever I meet them I had a lot of fun with them.
When I was young I used to steal guava form the mosque which was near to my village. I entered that mosque by jumping over the wall. Once when I tried to steal from the mosque, some of the people saw me. They tried to catch me but I ran away. While jumping off the wall, I landed in a cactus. I was pricked by the cactus thorns all over my body. My friends helped me remove the thorns. I went home unhappy and decided never to steal again.
One day I went to my grandmother’s house. I was wandering on the road with my friends. One of my friends asked us to swim in the river. Everyone went to swim but I did not go. They called me but I replied “I will not swim.” While I was standing on the road Govinda, my friend, came and pushed me. I fell and rolled in the field. If he wouldn’t have done that, I would have been hit by a car and killed. I hugged him and thanked him for saving my life.
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“My Life at Bata (Patna)”
I started living in Bata when my mother died. I used to live with my maternal aunt and maternal uncle. Bata is actually a town. So the transport ran all the time. GangaRiver is near Bata. I used to have bath in Ganga River with my maternal uncle in the morning. One day my maternal aunty kept a fast. So she wanted to go Ganga River for having a bath. So I and my maternal aunt went to the Ganga River at 3 o’clock during the night. When I went there it was very dark and I was scared. I thought there might be a ghost in the river. I told my maternal aunty to not bathe in the river. But she said that nothing will happen. She bathed in the river and after that she worshipped god. But I did not have a bath. When I went home I had a great relief. Whenever I went Bata I had a bath in Ganga River with my brothers and friends. People of Bata loved me. Whenever I go Bata my maternal aunt told me that I don’t rest at all. One day when I was at Bata my maternal aunty told me to bring wood for fire. I entered a shop to buy wood. Then a boy asked me to bring his toy. It was fallen in a tank of water below ground. As I jumped in I started sinking. That tank was full of water and mud. That was as big as a well but didn’t look like one. But I saved myself. I gave that fire wood to my brother and I ran away to Ganga River. And there I bathed quickly and went home. I don’t know how my aunt came to know about that, but she asked me not to repeat it. Mostly I played all evening when in Bata. Near Bata there was a factory which manufactured shoes and slippers. The leftover material generated from the factory was kept behind the factory. It formed a large pile and was soft to touch. So I played there with my friends. We played games like hide-and-seek and catch-the-thief. One day I was very thirsty and I was sitting where I used to play. Elder guys were crossing the road. In their hands I saw bottle full of water. They knew me because they were my elder brother’s friends. Then I asked them for water. They gave the water with a smile. I drank it and then I sat down. They went away. After that I got intoxication and then I fainted. When I woke up it was 11.30 pm, it was totally dark. I felt scared and ran away as fast as I could. I reached my home late at night. My family members were not sleeping. They were looking for me. As they saw me, they came running and they took me into the house. Then they started asking me questions that where I was? What I was doing? I told my elder brother that I asked his friends for water but instead of water they gave me alcohol to drink. And after drinking I fainted and then I slept. Next day I feel ill. My elder brother fought with his friends and he also broke friendship with them. That day I came to know that how much my elder brother loved me. He is not my blood brother but he did everything for me.
When I was in Bata for holidays, me and my brother went to the fields; brushed teeth with twigs and bought carrot from the owner of the field. We used to sit under a tree and eat them. We got them for our brothers and sisters too. One day I was wandering in the field. I meet a girl who was my classmate. I began talking to her. My brother was with me. He too talked to her. Someone saw me talking with her. He told to my elder brother. When I went home my elder brother started throwing questions at me that who was she? What I was doing with her? I answered. He believed me for the first time, for which I was extremely happy. Once I was making a ball from of rubber bands. While doing so, I saw my father coming with his brother. When I saw him I rushed to my maternal aunt and told that he is coming. As my father came towards my aunt, she told him to take me away. I was very disappointed and started crying. When I brought my brother to take care of the matter, she asked me to leave with him. I left everything on god and began walking with my father. He asked me to get the keys from the house from aunt, when I went; the people of the village plead her not to let me go. Therefore she asked my father to leave. Had I been old enough to beat him, I surely would have. My uncle went to do just that but he had already left by then. I get angry even by the mention of his name, I hate him so much.
One day I was with my brother standing near a big drainage pipe. Few minutes later I left alone. When I entered home my aunt asked me where was my brother so, I went back to call him. As I went there to call him I did not find him anywhere. I started shouting Rahul ….! Rahul….! Then I saw a hand waving in the drainage pipe. As I came to know he had fallen in the drain, I got him out immediately. As I took him out he started crying in a loud voice. I asked him that how did you fall? He said that someone pushed him into that drain. I asked him the guy’s name. But he did not know that person; he had seen him for the first time.
In Bata there four friends with whom I used to go school with. I played badminton with them in the evening. In the group of friends there was a girl who behaved just like us. Sometimes I played cricket with them. Except these friends I had one another friend who had bad habit of eating tobacco and khaini. Whenever I met him I always saw him chewing. I wandered here and there with him. One day I asked him to give me some of it to eat. He said “NO”. I told him that if you do not give then even you have stop eating it. Few minutes later, he replied that he will stop chewing tobacco. On that day I was happy for I was able to make my friend understand that what is right and what is wrong. After that whenever I meet him, I gave him something to eat. One day my elder brother was playing cricket and I was sitting on boundary and watching the match. One of my brother’s team player ran to his home for some reason, so my elder brother called me to play. I went running. During fielding the batsmen hit the ball so hard, that the ball came and hit me on my head. When this happened I fell and fainted. When I got up, I had a strong headache, so my brother got me medicine. All three of us brothers were fond of playing cricket. In bata I played matches with many different guys. I seldom lost and mostly won. This irritated them, and they planned to beat me after as I return from the school. So when I was returning from the school, alone, they were standing by the lane and waiting for me. I saw them standing and I said Hi to them. But their intentions were different, they started beating me; they were many and I was alone so I couldn’t do anything. These boys were from my school so I complained about them to a professor who liked me very much. I gave all of their names to my professor and then he brought them into a ground and he gave me a long stick and asked me to beat them. I beat them but slowly-slowly. Next day they came to me and offered their friendship, and I accepted. On that day they must have realized their mistakes. They started playing with me. We met every evening. One day we had a race competition in the school. All of us started practicing. When the race held I didn’t win because, I fell down while running. But one of my friends won the race. They got their prize. They also got a box of chocolates. They came to me and we ate them together. In Bata, in the beginning of winter my village’s children went korzi (it’s a name of a place) for competition every time. We danced there and had some snacks. Boys and girls who won got prizes like heavy plates, bags, a bed and shawls. We used to dance at the end of the program. This program was held every year. We enjoyed a lot there.
Whenever I went to Bata, everyone recognized me through my aunt. I always ate kachauri jalebi in the morning. Whenever my maternal uncle came from his work he used to give me some money. He also used to bring the mangoes from his BataCompany. Apart from few days, my life in Bata was very happy and cheerful.
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“My Days at Hostel”
The name of my school is Shoshit Samadhan Kendra. It is an NGO for boys. Only boys study here. I got admission in the hostel on 17th of January, 2010. Before I went to the hostel, I used to think that in the hostel there would be a single room, a servant for washing my clothes and free ground to play. But now I came to know that I was wrong. And there is no playground, no servant for washing my clothes and no single room. When I was at home I was very excited to come. I gave three examinations to come here. I gave my first exam in 2008, second in 2009, and third in 2010. At last I passed. My first day of the hostel was not so good. Everyone asked questions to me which I had to answer. Next day I got my clothes and my shoes. When I was in UKG someone asked me whether Anand Mohan was my brother? I replied yes but they did not believe me. They said ” it is amazing really that I am tall yet I am one year less than my younger brother”. For this I said a lot. Sometimes I said that I am small. As we know that we cannot hide the truth. At that time I knew the name of some boys who belong to my town. When I was I in UKG, Dinesh bhaiya loved me very much. He considered me as his younger brother. He always cared for me and taught me. At that time I was very excited to speak English. I wanted to learn as fast as I could. So I spoke to Dinesh bhaiya about this matter and then he decided to teach me. He used to give me cold drink only on Sunday. Our foundation day was coming soon. He encouraged me to take part in dance. I participated in the dance. He also prepared me for the examination. Because of him only I got good percent.
Whenever I slept at night on my bed I used to hear various sounds coming from the bathroom. And I got scared. I did not go into the bathroom for the toilet. I believed that there might be a ghost. At night what I saw, what I heard, I explained it to my friends and to my brother. That time my friends told me the ghost stories. I got afraid after hearing that. I used to tell Dinesh bhaiya that I am scared. Then he gave me an idea. That before sleeping he told me to imagine about the sunflower. How it is was moving and how it was looking. What is the color? In this way he told me to imagine. I always slept following this idea. One day I was having my dinner. We were talking, laughing and having our meal. Suddenly my leg started aching. I told to Dinesh bhaiyabut he did not believe me and thought that I was joking. That time I was not joking. Then I started crying. He asked me what happened. Then I told him the matter. He picked me up and took me into the dormitory. I was crying loudly. Then he called sir, but sir had gone somewhere for work. Then guard bhaiya and a volunteer (who came to teach us dance) took me to the hospital. I was admitted there for a night. Next day I was well and I was crying to come back to the hostel. At night I was crying looking at the doctor’s tools. Looking at one thing I cried a lot and that was x-ray machine. Its light was yellow and I remembered a film where a hero was treated with a yellow light by the doctor, when he was shot by a pistol. That is why I was crying a lot while working at x-ray machine. At that time I did not know that it’s an x-ray machine. When the sun rose I started asking to guard bhaiya to take me to the hospital. In the year 2009 I was at home and my brother was in the hostel. My father came to meet him. He went down to meet him. He might have thought that maternal uncle and maternal aunty came. As he saw it was father who came, he refused to see him. He told the guard that he is not his father and he is not his son. Then my brother went back to his work. My father also returned. One Sunday when I was watching television a guy told me that someone had come to meet me. I went downstairs and saw. I found that my maternal aunty had come to meet me. Within a few minutes of meeting my maternal aunty, I learnt that she had come to meet and make me understand that my father had not killed my mother. As she spoke these sentences, I interrupted her and said that hearing by ears can be wrong but seeing by eyes cannot be wrong. Then she told me that she came to take me away from this hostel to her home. Then I said that I don’t want to be in a murderer’s home and she left. In the hostel I have many friends. I share my experiences with them and they also share their experiences with me. When I was going from UKG standard to standard one, Dinesh bhaiya went home due to some reason. Before going he gave me his photo and told me to meet him in some days. On Sunday my father spoke to me on phone and told me that he is coming to take me away from the hostel forever. After listening I was shocked. I didn’t want to leave the hostel. I did not want to go with him. I did not have any choice except to run away. Then I decided to run away to my maternal aunty. But that time I had no money. Then I asked my friends for money. He gave me one hundred rupees. I told many boys that I am going to run away. But they did not take it seriously. In the morning at four o’clock I jumped from the first floor to the ground. I got hurt in my leg. Then I picked up my bag and started walking slowly – slowly. That time I could not walk fast. In the way I saw some dogs. They were running towards me. I slowly picked up some stones and when they came towards me I threw the stones at them. The dogs ran back. I waited for the taxi. I did not find any taxi coming, only big trucks. Then I saw a taxi I waved my hand to stop it. When it stopped, I got in and then I went to the Danapur. Then there I sat in another taxi and went to Danapur Khagaul. Then again I sat in another taxi and at last I went to my grandmother’s home, my birthplace. My maternal aunty was living there for some months. When I entered into the house I saw that my maternal aunty was making food. When she saw me, she was shocked. Then I told my maternal aunty all the matter. Then she again brought me into the hostel. In the hostel there was no noise about me. It was running as it was before. Then my maternal aunty called sir and told the matter. When sir heard it, he was shocked. Then he asked me that how I came out? My maternal aunty explained all the matter. Then he brought me to principal madam. I told all the matter to her but she said that I am creating a story. Then sir spoke to chairman sir and asked me to keep me or not. I think I am here because of my study because I was good in study and that’s why my chairman sir allowed me to live here. Now whenever I think about that I feel ashamed and realize that I did wrong. I should not have done that. Now I feel very bad. Whenever my sir talks about these things I feel ashamed. Things which I like here, is the library and studying English and watching movies together on the roof. There are many things that I like here.
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“My Vacation”
My first vacation from the hostel was Dussehra vacation. Whenever I went for vacation to my house I tried to enjoy a lot. In the vacation when I went to my grandmother’s house, the people of the village came to see me. Most of the people did not recognize me. But they recognized my younger brother. One by one they introduced themselves, yet I could not recognize them too. Whenever I went during vacations, I always stayed with Deepak. We used to stroll on the roads. We always chose any topic and talked about it. We did not go anywhere because of our parents. If we went somewhere for a while they started worrying. One day when we went to Ganga River for walking, it was Bakri Id. We entered the Muslim’s colony. As we were going, suddenly we saw a dog. It started barking at us. Deepak was not so afraid but I was very afraid. Then a Chinese man controlled the dog and asked us to go. When we came out of the colony we had a great relief.
Last vacation I learnt to ride a cycle. While learning, I fell many a times but I did not stop learning. I learnt riding it in three or four days. Before my friends told me that I can learn it easily because I had long legs. My friends used to catch fish and I used to learn cycle. My friends helped me in learning the cycle. My bother also learnt to ride it. In vacation I had met many boys from my hostel. In Dussehra, I was going alone in a fair. Near Diana hall I was standing and eating an eggroll then I saw my bhaiya he was also there with his friends. My bhaiya also saw me and called me and then he asked me to be with him. Then he asked me if I want to watch a movie. I said “yes”. Then he took me to a cinema hall. It was my first time that I went to a cinema hall. Whenever I go for a vacation my friends or neighbors ask me, in which standard I study? I felt embarrassed that I am in this standard and I lied. In vacation whenever Deepak talked about or asked someone about their standard, I silently went away from there. I used to feel very bad when these topics came up. I dint say the truth, with the fear they might make fun of me. That’s why I don’t tell my real standard.
In vacation I also played cricket with my friends. Mostly I roam here and there with my friends. In daily routine I do not feel comfortable at home but I feel comfortable at hostel. In Holi vacation when I went to aunt’s house I enjoyed a lot over there. One day when I was playing in the field my maternal aunty told me to bring sweets and somosa. I and my brother were going to the market to bring it where we saw our sister-in-law. She was coming towards us. There was a girl with her. We thought she might be another girl. We kept walking; we went to market and brought the samosaand sweets. As we went back to our home we saw that the girl was sitting in the room. I thought she was a relative of my sister-in-law. From next day she started joking with me. She tickled me but I did not say a thing. After few days I started talking to her. She also lived in a hostel. She introduced about her hostel and I also introduced my hostel. We always kept smiling and talking. Whenever I played cricket if she crossed from there, I tried to hit sixes and fours to show her. We talked on the roof before sleeping. Soon she became my friend but my brother started teasing me with her. Many times I told them to not to tease but they did not listen me. One day I and my brother planned to scare her when she came to take pans. As she came to take a pan, we shouted loudly A-a-a! Suddenly she slapped me. Then my brother said “so sad” and then he switched on the light. As she saw she started saying sorry. I went away quietly. I did not talk to her and I went to play in the field with my friends and my brothers but at home she was looking for me to say sorry. I returned home in the evening. I was sitting on the roof. Then she came and said sorry. As she said I gave her a big smile. She understood that the matter is solved. Then we started talking. Next day when I was sitting on the ladder my maternal aunty was sitting on the floor and she was cutting vegetables. Tunni was standing near my maternal aunty. Suddenly my elder brother came and asked to my maternal aunty to marry me with Tunni when I will complete my study. I was shocked. I tried to close the topic but I could not. Then my maternal aunty asked me that I want or not. I did not say anything as I did not have any words to say. Then I slipped away from there. I came out of the house and took a sigh of relief. I could not believe that they were talking about my marriage. I had told many people in my village to not to marry their sons or daughter in young age. Whenever I went to my elder brother’s village, he often said one sentence in front of me and that is, he will marry me with Tunni. When I was returning to my hostel, she gave me her hostel phone number. When I came in my hostel I might have lost it. I had tried many times to look for the number but I could not find it.
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“Helping Others”
Whenever I go for a vacation, I help someone. One day I was coming from my grandmother’s house to Bata by a taxi, when I got ‘nature’s call’. I asked the taxi driver to stop the taxi and I paid him. After attending the nature’s call, I started walking, when an old lady told me to pick up a sack of dry grass and keep it at a house which was a bit far. I did not say anything to her, but helped her. I picked up her sack and took it to her house. She blessed me with love and then I continued walking.
In Holi vacation, I was coming from the market, when an old woman asked me to help her. Her hand was bandaged; there was pain in her hand. She was waddling. I helped her freely but my brother told me that she might be a black magician. Then I told him that he was wrong and it’s just an illusion.
One day when I was home and walking on road, I had a hundred rupee note. As I was going I saw a girl weeping near a bench. I knew her, so I asked her why she was weeping. She said that she had lost her hundred rupee note. If she did not return the money to her brother then he might beat her. That time I had a hundred rupee note. Then I decided to give her and I did. She told me that she will return. Then I said ok.
In another vacation I went to Bata to spend my holidays. One day I went to a river for walking. There was a small temple. People called it Bansanti temple. I stopped there for a moment. Then an old man came and asked that if he could worship here or not. Then I replied of course you can. Then he said that “can I bathe in the river or not”. And then I said why should you bathe in river why should not in Ganga river. Then I told him to have bathe in Ganga River and then come and worship. Then my brother said yes that is good. Then the old man asked for the towel for bathing. I could not say anything. I asked my brother to give him or not but my brother was not agreeing. He was not ready to give. I tried to make him understand but he did not listen to me. That time I could not help that old man. I started returning to home. When I went a little far then I turned my face to see the old man. As I turn back to see he was not there. That time I got angry on my brother. But I controlled myself.
As I help some people, some people also helped me. One day when I was coming from my village Neura to Bata in the taxi I was sitting near the driver. When I got off the taxi I gave money to the driver but he did not take it. He said that “you are a child and I cannot take money from you”. Then he started his taxi and then he went away.
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“My Aims and Hobbies”
My hobbies are to play cricket and to paint to write poems and to read horror stories. I have written about 20 poems. The thing that I like most is painting. I like to spend my spare time in this type of work. My aim is to be an actor in my life and also a good lyricist. I want to achieve this aim because I want earn a lot of money so that I can open a charity for poor people and for poor society. It shocks me to see the beggars and I feel pity and I wonder how they live or survive in such a dirty place or what they eat and how they spent their night. There is one quotation in my school board that service to mankind is the highest form of religion. I get inspired by this quotation and then I take a vow to devote myself to them. My school was built keeping this motto in mind.
There are many places where I have decided to go on trip after completing my studies and achieving my aim. Places that I want to visit are:
- Jammu & Kashmir
- Seven sisters
- London
- U S A
- Australia
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“How My Life has Changed”
My life started changing when I came in Shoshit Samadhan Kendra. In S.S.K I came to know the importance of my life. I learnt many things in S.S.K and still I am learning. I observed the difference between me and villagers guys. I also observed the love between me and my family members. When I was at home my cousin’s elder brothers did not love as much as they do now. S.S.K shows me the future of my life. I had never thought of going home forever from S.S.K. but my friends share their opinion with me that they want to go home. They said “this vacation I will go home and then I will not return. But many times I used to tell them that I will not go. You know why I said like this because I have my aim to achieve. Few of my friends have gone home because they have not seen their aims. They have not chosen their aims, but I have my aim and I want to achieve that. That’s why I am in S.S.K. When I go home many people asked me but when I used to live at home people did not even look and talk to me. Coming in S.S.K I have got respect.
Whenever I used to watch a cricket match at home I used to think that India plays only against Pakistan. Whenever India plays against any country, I only thought that India is playing against Pakistan. This kind of knowledge I got in S.S.K., In S.S.K I came know that what is good or what is bad. In S.S.K I understood my feelings. In S.S.K I came to know what I can do. Here I recognized myself. Here I learnt English. Here I made friends to share my sadness and happiness. So this is how my life has changed.
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